The Truth

I don't know why i feel like this everyday of my life..
its something i've got accustomed to. day in and day out, ive to occupy myself..or else hell would hit me like a ton of bricks. actually hell does hit me,everynight. and it sucks. no one truly knows how my life is like. it;s my own doing,so its my fault. but why must this happen to me? what have i done in my life to deserve such punishment? my body weakens each time..i know if i continue it;d lead to my deathbed. i know that nothing good is coming out of this pain i yearn to hault. i need to find light, to find peace..but each time i think of it, 'Peace' is a fear. and my life is nothing but a burden hidden by a clown's smile. if only people knew, how hidden i was.. if only they'd know that their taughting and harsh words, or their thoughts of me and my life are nothing but scraches on my already torn image.